So... What's The Point?

As we sit on the cusp of the finale, mere hours away from the final performance of The Caucasian Chalk Circle, I find myself focused on one question – why? Why did we do this?  What was the point of it?  There must be a reason beyond pure masochism that propelled us to work so hard, but what is it?  What’s the endgame here?

 

Is it the applause?  

Do the math – we started rehearsing on September 10^th from approximately 7 to 10 every Sunday through Thursday night, minus the election night reprieve.  If we add another 15 hours to that total to account for weekends and overtime, we’d rehearsed an estimated grand-total of 156 hours (we’ll round up to the probably more accurate number of 160) before opening on November 13th.  This number does not include time spent on technical aspects or promotional duties or pouring over the script or sleepless nights in the theatre by a certain vigorous director.  So, in the end, were these 160+ hours spent for the simple reward of 30 seconds of applause for 7 nights?  Did we work that hard for the payoff of 210 seconds of staccato hand claps by appreciative (albeit obligated) audience members?  That doesn’t seem to add up…

 

So what is it?  Is it the “glory”?  Those few moments of pride when our mother is telling us how wonderful we were even though in the backs of our mind’s we know she’d say the same thing even if we’d just walked on stage, vomited on ourselves, and walked off?  There’s no praise outrageous enough to equate to 160 hours…

 

The fact is (as cliché as it sounds) the art is its own reward.  Everyone has their own personal reasons for doing it.  Some of us are looking for a new experience while some of us have always done theatre as a necessary aspect of our lives.  Some of us are looking to start anew while some of us are looking to graduate.  Some of us want to find out what we’re good at while some of us know this is the only thing we’re good at.  Some of us, for better or worse, just have to, dammit.

 

Trying to find reasons is futile and diminishing; it doesn’t matter.  We’ve seen the outcome - we’ve garnered large audiences and gotten very kind compliments.  But it isn’t about that.  It’s about the process, the voyage, the path we’ve taken to reach this destination.  The top of the mountain is special to the climber only because of the journey to reach it.

 

This has been special.

 

This cast isn’t perfect.  Not a one of us is.  We’ve all got our shortcomings, our insecurities.  We’ve all suffered our share of struggles.  But we’ve been there for each other and we’ve come together in a way that defies logic.  The camaraderie and genuine affection that has grown among the cast is truly touching.  In fact, I’m not sure the word “cast” does us justice.  This is a team.  A very talented team.  Despite the fact I didn’t really know a single one of them on September 9^th, I feel a connection to them now that is worth so much more than 160 hours of my time.

 

Every good team needs a coach and I can’t say enough about Laura Cuetara, our director.  If the show is a success (and it is), it is her success.  This is her show.  Brecht may have written it, but Laura has gone Grusha Vashnadze with it, made it her own, and nurtured that camaraderie that has meant so much to us.  With the help of a tireless assistant director and a talented crew of technicians, Laura has led this show with a method all her own.  And for that we thank her.

 

So why did we do it?  Because of all this and more.  Because of the experience.  Because we love it.  Because we get a rush when we see our friends sitting in the front row with smiles on their faces, even if they are just laughing at our makeup.  Because we had 160 hours to kill.  Because we’ll never – ever! – get Barefoot Girl out of our heads.  Because it is just plain fun.  Because this is a little different than friendship.  Because our paths all diverge from here, but we share a common starting point.  Because sleep deprivation is cool.  Because a tangible, definite outcome is beyond the point. 

 

Because the memories are priceless.

 

The show closes tonight and I’m trying to officiate this wrestling match between joy and melancholy within me.  It’s been a journey that I’m blessed to have taken, and 160 hours was well worth it.  I could not be more appreciative of everyone involved in The Caucasian Chalk Circle.  And I could not be prouder of them.

 

To you all, a round of applause…

- Luke Sorge